Archive for April, 2012

Troll

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

Boss says , “Glrg, guard bridge from goats.” So I guard bridge.

Goats come. Say want to cross bridge. I say, “Boss say no goats on bridge.”

Goats get angry. Say Big Goat not like trolls.

I say “Sorry. Boss say no goats on bridge.”

I think maybe goats too lazy to swim river but not say this. Goats seem angry and I not think it great idea to mention character flaws right now.

Goats go away. I think, “Good. They listen to Glrg. Maybe next time swim instead of get angry.”

I wrong.

Goats come back with friends, say Big Goat coming and want to cross bridge.

I say, “Sorry. Boss not like goats crossing bridge. Say they mark up surface.”

Goats even more angry now. I decide not to mention swimming.

Goats wait around. Goats seem to get bored and start saying hurtful things about Glrg’s mom. I sad, but Boss say no goats on bridge, so I not let goats on bridge. Goats finally leave. I make note to call mom, tell her I love her.

Goats return. I not happy about this. They have have really big goat this time. Big Goat come to bridge. I tell him that Boss say no goats on bridge. Big Goat look at me. Big goat spit on bridge. I bend down to clean up. Big Goat charge at me with horns. I try to get out of way but Big Goat knocks me into river. I swim a while thinking, “Goats not really appreciate how nice water is.”

Next day, Boss fire Glrg. I not happy. I try to tell Boss about Big Goat. Boss not care. Say Glrg need more experience. So I leave. If you know where I find experience, you tell Glrg. I let you cross bridge. Unless you goat. No goats on bridge.

Dog Racing

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

A couple of weeks ago, Anne and I packed up the dogs and the kids and drove to the middle of nowhere (somewhere south of Draper, Utah.) There is a secret Whippet Racing course there on some dog loving soul’s farm and on Saturdays they’ll let you race your dog on a lure for a couple of bucks. Well, Anne has never met a dog sport she didn’t love and Tai is built like an Italian Greyhound, so it seemed worth the drive to at least try it out.

Basically, there is a long empty field next to some horse pasture. Using an old tractor (for a motor) and a system of pulleys, there is a lure attached to a thin rope. Since there were two of us, Anne would hold our dog and I’d walk to the far end of the course (about 200 yards.) When we signal we’re ready, the fellow at the tractor pulls a lever and the lure starts moving. The dog is then released to chase after it until the lure passes me (at which point, the lever is toggled and the lure stops.) I then collect the lure and the dog and jog back to the beginning to do it all over again.

We had a great time. Both dogs ran the course twice and seemed very enthusiastic by the second go. I’ve included some pictures below for your general enjoyment.